Day By Day

This has been a rough week for me. All the pregnancies and new babies surrounding us has been a lot for me to handle this week. Sometimes all my feelings and emotions just builds up and it all gets to me. With are very close friends welcoming baby Lincoln into the world and seeing how they are settling in has made me wish it was us that much more. I so want to be in that position and getting to know our new baby. I KNOW my day will come, but I am feeling right now that the day is far, far away. If we would not have lost our 1st baby at 10 weeks and 2 days we would currently have an 11 week old! How amazing would that be. On another thought if we would not have lost our 2nd baby at exactly 10 weeks we would be due in about 5 to 6 weeks. The 2nd pregnancy/baby I hold dear to my heart as we actually saw the baby on ultrasound and heard a heartbeat. I do apologize for mourning openly on this blog, but unfortunatly this is what fills my mind these days. I am trying very hard to stay positive and look forward to what will be, not what would have been, but sometimes I slip, just like any normal human being would. Dustin and I have had many discussions about this and we have decided to try 1 more time before we do further treatment. I know that is a risk and that I am setting myself up for yet another loss, but on the other hand the outcome could be a baby for us to love. We are hoping to start trying in the near future. If history repeats itself we don't have any trouble actually getting pregnant (thank God for that) and we should have yet another positive pregnancy test within the next 2 to 3 months. Please pray for us that the "4th time will be a charm"!!!